Archive for April, 2009

layouts. bah.

OK, OK.

I changed the layout from the cool hot air balloons to this typical K2 because I somehow messed up the comments.  I don’t know what I did, but apparently they weren’t working.  They should now.  I think.  I sure did like those hot air balloons….  Oh well.

I’m currently going a little crazy over my last paper to write.  Well, there is one more on top of this, but I already have a full-length rough draft.  So, I mostly need to gather more source material and elaborate on my claims, but I’m just so tired of it all.
Blah blah blah.  School school school.
Thing is, though, I’d much rather be doing this than math problems.

True, true

“I think I’m too cynical to ever have a good symbol.” -Chris

I couldn’t stop myself

I heard a little girl tell her father, “I need water.”
I couldn’t stop myself from adding, “And maybe somebody’s daughter.”

trashface

Chris and I just spent about an hour going through everything in our apartment and car looking for a misplaced wallet.
Everywhere.  It just didn’t make any sense.  Then Chris found it.  In our trash.  Grosss.

I like to think of myself as a relatively clean person.  But, man, trash is so sick.  I think it has something to due with wet stuff that isn’t supposed to be wet.

I spent some time in the office today talking to Charity about her wedding plans and such.  It really is coming together, and I just can’t wait to take the photos.  Stoked!  And scared to mess it all up!

Anyway…  It is only 5:30 pm and I’m feeling all right.  Tomorrow is my last grad class eveerrrr.  For my M.A., at least.

the controlled burning of Cold Mountain

This is a photo taken on our camping trip from a few weeks ago.
The controlled burning of Cold Mountain…
It took Chris a while to convince me that it was good enough to post,
but I like it now.

 

I’d give a lot to be back there right now, not moving on with all of these responsibilities and worries.
School, work, teaching, grading, finding more work.  Blah.
I wish this weekend had been more play and less work.
Complain complain complain.
Next weekend will bring more fun times–I think.
This coming week is going to either be very relaxed or very insane.
I haven’t decided yet.

87

It is 87 degrees in our apartment, and we only have one fan, but I refuse to turn on the AC.

Lynchburg has been nice lately.  The trees on the top of the mountains are all green finally.  Yesterday, Chris and I had some good finds at the record store.  Ziggy Stardust and the E.T. soundtrack for a dollar!  We talked to the owner for a little bit.  He’s really nice and used to be an elementary school teacher.

Then we had everyone over to watch Burn After Reading, which just made me feel sad.  I demanded to watch Cinderella afterward.

Today I picked out new glasses frames from a bargain rack at Pearl.  Much, much cheaper than the other place, so I should get those on Monday or sometime soon.  I’ve been needing a peach shake lately because of the perfect weather, and we almost tried to get one at the Sundae Grille, but put it off.  I don’t remember why.  Just wasn’t feeling it.  Instead, we headed to Magnolia Foods.  They have this really cute, round picnic basket with everything in it you could possibly need:  glasses, a knife, napkins, a cutting board, and more.  We thought about that for a moment too, but just decided to, once again, put it off.  Maybe for my birthday or something.  I don’t know.  I’ll probably go back next week at some point and apply for a summer job there.  They’re hiring and it is a nice little deli/grocery store.  The only thing is that it is close to downtown, about 15 minutes away.  But, really, I’m just so spoiled with everything literally being around the corner from my apartment.  15 minutes is not that long of a drive.  I wish that we lived downtown.  So nice.

In other news, I hate headlines.  Always go on and on about this swine flu.  I just want it to go away.  I don’t want to have to worry about getting sick from pigs and dying and all of that.  Blah.  Fallen world, I suppose?  Can’t it just breeze over like the bird flu?  2005 was scary:  bird flu and Katrina.  At least there aren’t any big hurricanes coming through.  Yet.

2 weeks

Ah, the weekend.
Two weeks until graduation.  I can’t believe it still.
The past two years have flown by in many ways, but have been filled with so much stress and hard work.
Adjusting to grad school the first semester, I had to pull an all-nighter each time that a paper was due.
The challenges just kept growing, though, especially with the thesis this semester.  But it is all done now.  All 87 pages of it.
I’ll be sending it off to get bound soon.  Then all you people can look it up on the databases and read it and learn about Vonnegut’s apocalypses.  Or not.

Right now, life has a lot of potential:  there are a lot of possibilities that remain, and I want time to hurry up so I can find where I’m going to be living, working, all of that.
However, at the same time, I am afraid that I won’t like what I’m going to find.  Then there won’t be any way out.
I mean, I am very flexible, and I know happiness isn’t limited to where I work.
But I just don’t want to end up stuck in a dead-end job.  And I don’t want to sell something I don’t believe in.  You know?
When it comes down to it, I just really want to teach.

Catharsis is lacking at times.

Dates I’m looking forward to:
May 9-Graduation
May 16-vacation in Florida
June 1-statewide teaching job fair in SC.  Come oooon, Greenville.

red finch

Chris took this picture yesterday.

As long as I have plenty of seed to offer, the finches are my friends.
If not, they couldn’t care less about me.  Oh, finchies.

Approaching the end of the year and I’m feeling all right.
My committee has approved of all of my thesis revisions,
so I am collecting their signatures today and submitting it to the library.

It’ll all be over.

Chris:  I couldn’t resist and got Ruffles and ranch dip, but I got carrots too so maybe we’ll be healthy.
Kt:  Yeah right.  I’m going in that bag Mr. Rufus style.

eye nebula

I went to the eye doctor for the first time in two years.
The doctor thought I was in high school.
I explained that I was within a couple of weeks of finishing up my graduate degree, and he looked confused.
When will people learn that short + skinny doesn’t always = teenage? I got see a picture of the inside of my eye, which looks like a super galactic nebula black hole with a shining light in the center.
I learned that my right eye is not aligned properly–whatever that means–but it isn’t bad enough to do something about it.
Is my face lop-sided?  I didn’t get that impression.

I decided that glasses cost too much and instead decided to wait and go somewhere else to pick out a frame.  If I have to spend $270 (which I don’t plan to), I should at least get something that I really like.  Right?

Then I went to the office early.  Chris had a meeting.  Thesis-life is going to be okay.
I studied.  Went to lit crit where we talked about Twitter.  And the blogosphere.  And I was embarrassed to admit that I have one.

After class, Chris needed to buy a book for his O’Connor paper, so we headed to Barnes and Noble where we split a frap in celebration of the revival of the thesis.  While sitting there, a lady announced over the speaker that Dan Brown had just  posted the release date of his new book!  Reserve your copy today!  What is our world of literature coming to?

So, here I am, ready to do O’Connor research and dig into some more of these freshmen papers.

blue

My toe nail is still blue from when I dropped a shampoo bottle on it in the shower about a week ago.

I’m sure you all needed to know that.

South Carolina sent me a letter today saying I’m cool enough to teach English to their middle schoolers and high schoolers.  Shoot, Virginia.  Why don’t you recognize?

James River State Park

This week has been more stressful than I can even begin to describe.  Chris has been working on thesis revisions non-stop–and I mean non-stop.  So, I’ve tried to be a good cheerleader and a good cook while also doing my own work.  Today, we knew that we just had to do something outside or we might go crazy.

We teamed up with Dallas and Andrew, packed a picnic, and headed to James River State Park to check out Charity and Andrew’s possible wedding site.  Is it strange to do this activity with all boys?  It seems a little flipped to me.  The thing is, though, Chris used to be forced to hang out with all girls all the time (Stephanie, Charity, and me), and now things are finally more even.

Anyway.  It was a lot of fun and green and mountainous and we had a yummy picnic of fresh, local bread, French cheese,  chicken, and mineral water.

More photos–we took a bunch of the site to show Charity.

too many references. make me stop.

Mewithyou beat us to writing a song titled “Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt.”
After all these years, I didn’t have their full album, so I never knew.

Damn.

By the way, one committee member down, two to go.  That sounded like a hit list….  I merely mean those approving of my thesis revisions.   Otherwise, I would have said, “So it goes.”  But it doesn’t go.

another one goes

Our local hiking store is closing.  I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming, but it still is sad.  The owner was really nice and he is the one who told us about Mt. Pleasant Scenic Area.

The economy is really bad for everyone, yet it still stings knowing that someone else’s dream is going down the drain.  Part of the problem, I think, was that the products he carried were too expensive.  They were more mid-grade, and I could always find what I needed drastically cheaper through REI.  For example, we really wanted to buy our tent from there just to support local business, but the cheapest equivalent that he had was $200 more than the one we got from REI.  I simply can’t afford to just throw away $200 like that.  We found the same situation with many other products that we needed.

I watched the store go from a backpacking-based store to mostly just clothes.  They still carried backpacking equipment, of course, but not much.  Running a business is complicated stuff.  If you don’t have the money, you can’t stock on everything.

I wonder if things will ever get better.  In time, I suppose, but life certainly feels troubling.

graduate school

As I was reading for my O’Connor class, Chris read this article aloud to me, pointing out the frustrations of graduate students in this terrible job market.  The article basically suggests that graduate degrees in the humanities (including English) are not really worth it all the way.  It explains that 50% of all graduates of Ph.D. programs in humanities never find tenure-track jobs at universities or colleges.  It is heart breaking in a lot of ways.

However, there are many reasons to go to graduate school for a Masters in English that are in fact valuable.

1.  If you have a T.A. position, it provides work experience while needing to either take out a small amount of loans of none at all while deferring previous student loans from undergrad.  I think that I have learned just as much being a T.A. as I have in my grad classes themselves.  Not only have I learned about teaching and communication from teaching English 101, but my writing skills and understanding of grammar have improved tremendously.

2.  It provides a chance to earn a higher G.P.A.  Many people find that their grades improve in graduate school.  I did well in undergrad and didn’t really need a clean slate, but my G.P.A. has improved by over a half of a point.  A higher G.P.A. is always a good thing.

3.  You have the chance to make more connections.  At the graduate level, faculty members often see grad students more as peers since grad students are held to a higher level of academics.  As a result, better connections can be formed.  Coming out of undergrad, I had three letters of recommendation from well-meaning professors.   Now, though, my letters are stronger with more specific comments on my work skills, intelligence, and character.  I believe that an employer could call my references and be very impressed with what my references have to say.  In fact, I have been told by two different employers how happy they were with my references.

4.  It provides a chance to hone in on your skills.  I can’t express how much I have learned in graduate school.  I have a better understanding of both literature and writing.  How many job descriptions demand good communication and writing skills?

5. If you are going into education, an M.A. in English in fact makes you more employable.  During an interview, one school administrator told me that I would be at the top of the list of candidates if I just had certification because they really like hiring people with Master’s degrees in their subject area.

In the end, degrees in English simply aren’t that employable to begin with.  If you can’t find a job with your B.A. in English and you have the chance to get your M.A. in English more or less for free with a T.A.ship, then I would suggest that you just go for it, knowing that you will once again have difficulty finding a job after graduation despite your graduate degree.  I wouldn’t suggest it without a T.A.ship, though.  It isn’t really worth it to go into large amounts of debt or to give up a sturdy job because the teaching experience with a T.A.ship seems essential to me.  This isn’t because English is a bad degree or anything, but because jobs are demanding more and more specific degrees with designated career tracks.  Earning an M.A. in English, though, can help with the previously mentioned problems.  I didn’t think that I wanted to teach going into grad school, but I have found that I really, really love it.  So, I suspect that this degree will help with finding employment in that area.  Maybe just not right now.  Because no one finds jobs right now.

one rabbit, four deer, seven turkeys. 9.5 miles

Finally got back out there this weekend.
This time, we hiked the Mt. Pleasant Loop backwards.
Last time, we crossed this stream (below) quite easily back in August.
With all of the rain we’ve been getting, it was flowing quite heavily and became more tricky.

 

 3.3 miles up to this amazing view.  Snapped some shots.  Got some sunburn and hiked down 4 miles to the lot.

 About a mile into the Hotel Trail (which leads up to Cold/Cole Mountain), we camped here.  There are so many great spots with one huge fire pit.  Of course, we didn’t have a fire, but it’d be fun visit with friends.  On the way, we noticed lots of areas had been completely scorched.  We met a worker who confirmed our thoughts that it had been a controlled burning.  Our area, though, was quite clear.

 We enjoyed a warm meal for the first time.  This has been our sixth trip and each time we have just eaten bars, chewy snacks, and other treats of sorts.   We got a burner for Christmas this year, so we had full, happy tummies.

Then we just relaxed and laughed and got more sunburn.

 After eight and a half miles of hiking, I found myself exhausted.

 

 

In the middle of the night, Abed-nego decided that he had to go to the bathroom–right away.  I leashed him up and tossed him outside.  He immediately began growling, and we heard some animals chatter.  After he finally went, I pulled him back in the tent and told him how dumb he was being.  Dachshunds are too brave for their own good sometimes.

Come morning, we opted out of making oat meal and tea for breakfast.  Instead, we just headed back to the car and came home.  It was a really fun trip.  I got to see my favorite peak and then just lay in the grass at the campsite and ate good food and drank a lot of water.  A lot of water.  Felt the night wind.  Admired the clear night sky.  Didn’t worry about a darn thing that had to do with school or work or life.

More photos on Flickr.
I still have more to add later.

I won’t allow it

The Troll 2 party was awesome.  According to Chris, it was the best screening of Troll 2 yet.
I think I agree.

Spice cake cup cakes with cream cheese icing.

I ran out of green stuff and got lazy with the icing with this batch.  Oh wellz.

If someone is willing to sit through that whole movie and laugh with you, then they can only be but so bad.

Camping plans are changing some.  The weather out in Damascus isn’t looking as clear, so we’re going to head for Mt. Pleasant Scenic Area instead.  I’m a little bummed, but we’ll just try again another time.  And Mt. Pleasant has been my favorite place so far.  We’ll probably do the loop, then camp on the Hotel Trail, hook onto the AT in the morning, and finish out the rest of the second loop in the morning.  That way it’ll be different than our other trips.

Ah, I can’t wait for summer.

B.

Slumdog Millionaire was satisfactory.
More than that.  It was great.

 

And I knew the answer to the final question thanks to my Man in the Iron Mask days with Kimmy and Jessi.
Now I want to adopt a troubled Indian child.

4-9

 

I took the M.A. exit interview yesterday, then wrote my response paper and revised until around 10:30 pm or so.
Today, I went to lit crit and cheerfully received congratulations for my defense.  It is nice to feel support from the faculty.  Really, the acceptance I’ve enjoyed has been invaluable.
These days, though, I find myself so frustrated as I work hard and do my best, but don’t see it paying off.
Maybe it will eventually–it probably will–but I’d like to just know what to expect.
How boring of a job will I have to get in the mean time?  And will we be able to make it with just one car?
I don’t know what it is all for sometimes.

 

The weather is grogeous, though, and we’re planning at least a one night camping trip this weekend.
So, I’ll go change out of my school clothes and go for a run at Blackwater Creek.
It is double-date night with Charity and Andrew to see Slumdog Millionaire at the dollar theater,
and tomorrow night we are having that Troll 2 party.  Time to make green food.

stuffff

I interlibrary loaned a book for O’Connor.
It came from Hampden-Sydney.
A part of it felt like home.

 

I got my stufff today.
It is costing us $400 to graduate.  Goodness!

thesis defense

This is a photo of me in high school reading Slapstick!
I guess not much has changed.

 

Today I defended my Master’s thesis on the Apocalypse in the novels of Kurt Vonnegut.
It was successful and I just have some minor revisions to make.
In some ways, I am relieved to have it back with more work to do.
I have both cursed this thesis and loved it.  Ah.  It is almost over, though.

 

 Afterward, we met some friends for dinner.
I’m planning a Troll 2 party for this Friday.  Indeed.

sooon

What a long, long day.
My curls can never last through the hours, especially with wind and rain.  Bah.

There certainly are not many Mondays left before graduation.  I had submitted my application and tomorrow I plan to purchase my new gown (with special sleeves and pockets!), tassel, STOLE (yes, dad, I get it now), and white hood.  I was so excited to get my hood during undergrad–it really does feel special.  Now I’ll have two.  And maybe one more in a handful of years.  Who knows.

I’m excited to do this all over again, yet it feels insignificant at times.

I mean, I have worked very, very hard, and I have grown a lot.  A lot a lot.
But there’s something about having a job lined up that makes it feel more worth it.

Still, this is not the end of education for Katie Robinson.
No, no.  There are plans.  Even if those specific ones don’t work out,
I’ll make new ones.

and you know she’s half crazy

Researching for my O’Connor term paper while watching a Leonard Cohen tribute concert.


What a ladies man at the Chelsea Hotel.

“And she feeds you tea and oranges / That come all the way from China”

I just feel like creating today, but not the things that I am supposed to.

somebody spoke and i went into a dream

Collecting wet cherry blossoms this morning
to rescue them from the grass.

“He took a long time to believe them because he wanted to believe them.  All he wanted was to believe them and get rid of it once and for all, and he saw the opportunity here to get rid of it without corruption, to be converted to nothing instead of to evil.”  Wise Blood, Flannery O’Connor

One month, one week, and one day until graduation.