1/8 Cherokee and a lot of freckles.
My thesis has been forwarded to the committee today.
Now I just wait until the defense.
I don’t feel as relieved as I should—I want to do more work on it, improve it more.
It never feels over.
I graded all of my students’ papers.
I don’t have too much to work on right now.
I don’t know what to do with myself,
so I’m updating everything that I can think of saying just that.
I suppose I could read more Still Life with Woodpecker.
I needsa haircutz.
Chris took that picture.
People’s tendencies never change all the way, it seems. That can be for good or bad–depending on the tendency.
I hope to be a person full of inspiration, motivation, and grace. I don’t know if I am.
Yesterday we met Chris’ family in Charlottesville for dinner. Elizabeth is turning 16 in a couple of days. I remember when she was only 11. Time has gone by so fast. I remember my Uncle Doug told me when I graduated from high school that life would just breeze on from then. I couldn’t understand because as a teenager, life just seems to drag. In many ways, I felt mature enough to handle my life as an adult, but I was stuck in algebra class. Then I graduated and he certainly was right.
This is my last day of thesis revisions. I must get it done today and sent off to the committee so I can defend as early as April 6th. I’m in good shape for that, I think, and I’m proud of the research that I’ve done. I have completed so many agonizing drafts, but it keeps improving. So it is worth it.
Whether we stay in Lynchburg or move, my goal for the summer is to re-do our office. Get rid of our l-shaped desk, perhaps even give the spare bed back to Christopher’s parents…. Guests have only slept in it about four times in the past two years. If anything, the trouble will simply be finding new ways to store all of our “extra” yet necessary items, like boxes of wires. I’m hoping to create an environment more conducive for writing and reading. Like Marianne.
The tulips are blooming.
And I am happy.
Downtown Lynchburg
And my dinner–General Tso’s tofu.
My new favorite song of all time for now is Animal Collective’s “Bluish.”
I know that is a contradiction.
And I am thinking of how I would make a map out of that sentence. Make me stop!
Unfortunately, my lap top’s speakers can’t quite muster up the strength to put out the amazing bass. Ahhh.
With life going the way it is, I’ve come to the point to just say whooo cares. As long as I can pay my bills after graduation in May, I’m fine. I can recognize beauty in music, literature, the evening sky, and the newly blooming tulips downtown. These thoughts keep me content. Nothing is promised in this world. No matter how hard I work or how many years I make sacrifices to stay in school, I am not garunteed that it will all pay off. I’m just thankful that I don’t have too many financial responsibilities, like a huge mortgage, during this economic crisis.
And maybe a little bit of this provides affirmation that I can still accomplish some of my previous hopes.
Job fair today in Charlottesville for private schools.
Fifteen copies of my resume. Zero interviews.
How can I compete with Ivy Leaguers returning to their alma mater?
How can I argue that I am competent when they all know the Headmasters on a first name basis?
Chris and I walk out onto the downtown Charlottesville Mall.
Needing lunch, we stop by an eatery. I can’t even afford a salad.
Nothing like Charlottesville to make you feel inferior.
People collecting signatures for a petition.
We walk past.
No one approaches us even though we are dressed in our finest suits.
Everyone else, though, they talk to.
With his head in hands, Christopher says, “I feel like the Invisible Man.”
I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids–and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.
But we agree and know that we could never compare ourselves to those who truly have lived through the pains of invisibility. Don’t think we attempt to dilute this.
Tired of kicking around the hotel in vain, we go to the Gravity Lounge.
Virginia Festival of the Book is taking place that day,
and to our luck, we find a free lecture on Jack Kerouac’s America.
Immediately, we are seen and someone hands us an evaluation.
And I recognize myself there.
The lecture is familiar. We hear the words and know the themes.
Familiar. Refreshing.
We talk to the professors after the lecture and we continue to recognize ourselves.
I am not a commodity.
Neither are my dreams.
All right. This is going to be boring, but I have to write about it before I forget.
I had the worst zombie dream in a long time last night. The really bad part is that I was certain it was real, even after waking up.
So, my mom and I were exploring Anglo-Saxon ruins far up north in some icy place, but realized that the artifacts we had been searching for were missing. Somehow, we stepped onto a cruiseship and stumbled upon a mad scientist injecting poison blood into dead people who then turned into zombies. Luckily, I put screws and screwdrivers (?) into my mouth and spit them at the scientist who then died. BUT the cruise ship set sail and we were stuck.
My mom disappeared and it was just me and some Japanese people dressed in kimonos. This was no ordinary cruise ship. It was a roller rink cruise ship with flashing lights and disco balls. And zombies! The trick to survival was to either stand still or roller skate at all times because it was then that the zombies couldn’t see you. We had machetes, which would kill the zombies, but they always came back to life. Also, if you slashed them in the same place, they’d eventually become immune in the spot. At first, we all would lay under chairs and get the zombies at their ankles (cowards, we were), but that stopped working. I came to the realization that eventually the zombies would become immune to all of our attacks on this endless cruise.
At one point, though, the zombies got really sea sick and were throwing up over the side of the cruiseship, so I ate some scallops. That was nice. Back to rollerskating.
The Japanese people turned out to be a family and they felt the need to reinact their daughter’s birth on her birthday. Not exactly your first priority on zombie rollerskating cruise. Seriously, guys. Choose tradition or life.
Then these kids started showing up who were offpsring of zombies and regular people. They wouldn’t hurt you, but they were still aggressive anyway.
Then I woke up and was convinced that I was still on the cruise ship. Nope. Thank goodness. I hate zombies.
I haven’t been taking the best pictures lately because life has just been… life.
Driving all over, constantly revisisng my thesis, grading, worrying about the future.
The usual.
Many times, Chris has to remind me to take my picture of the day right as I’m going to bed,
so I don’t take my time and just snag a shot of something.
Not to mention that it has been raining since last Thursday.
But.
This, this I really like.
I’m probably too picky. Probably. But when I saw this commercial, all I could think was that the director sure made the doctor (on the left) look tiny or the patient (on the right) look like a giant. And then I just couldn’t let it go.
We made it to Tampa around 5:00 pm today.
So far we have enjoyed the view from our balcony
and went swimming.
and managed to drive past a building at least ten times despite having TWO GPS devices.
I asked some guy at Walgreens for help and we found it immediately.
I hate slapstick comedy. Hate it. I am too empathetic. BUT. I couldn’t stop laughing at this poor dog.
Snow day!
We got ten inches of snow! This is the most snow I’ve seen in a long time.
Ten years, maybe? An inch for every year.
Speaking of snow, it looks like I’m going to the Gulf Coast of Florida over spring break.
No, not for a vacation, but a job interview. ^^; Chris gets his wish.
More snow pictures
and a video of the snow falling and Abed-nego struggling to walk in it.
